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"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Monday, November 26, 2007

Matt's Suicide Watch Begins

Ummm, Matt, I know you're concerned. I know you are upset. I know you've probably tore out most of your hair by now, but please, step away from the ledge. Maybe it'll work in College Station? Maybe Mike Sherman won't implode Texas A&M worse than Franchione. I'm sure the Aggies won't be looking back with fondness at the man, Fran, who last got the team to two consecutive seven win seasons, beating the stinkin' Texas University 'Horns twice in a row, ending the pompous Austinites season on the ultimate down note (glory be). The Sherm will certainly take the Aggs to new heights, right?

OK, it's bad, Matt. Really bad. But, c'mon, let's get down off the roof and have a beer and blast the fools instead? Cool?

No? How about Cold. The mountains are turning blue as we speak. OK, OK, a couple of shots too. Speaking of cold, let's get down from here. BBQ and Brewtime. And let's not talk about the Aggies.


This is probably the wrong time to mention Radmanovic took the last shot last night as well...

Hey, the Bears still need to win every game here on out to have a handi-capable's chance in hell in the Playoffs this year. Feel Better?

Glavine back to Hotlanta?

Favre over the Cowgirls?

There we go. Come on, my man. I'll buy the first round. Now,keep your eyes out for a dish, we gotta find a place with the NFL Network...

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

17 Unanswered Points

Before the game, a certain kicker, let's call him Todd Sauerbrun, stated how he was not worried at all about kicking to Devin Hester. Well, let me be one of the first to say, Hey, Thanks!!

Could you go ahead and call Jeff Feagles and Lawrence Tynes and let them know to do that next week as well? Thanks, man!

Bwaahahahahahahahahah!!!!! Bears win in OT, 37-34. Suh-Wheeet.

Nice Catch by Bernard Berrian on fourth down at the end of the game. Wow. Seriously. Even Dan "I Obviously Hate The Bears" Dierdork said it was as fine a TD catch as you would ever see.

Cue the music, folks. Only five more consecutive wins to go to make it to the playoffs! OK, maybe don't buy those postseason tix just yet. But tonight, somebody by Hester a drink!!! Hell, it should be Grossman and he should cover his whole tab.

Go Bears!!

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Cedric Benson Out

Cedric Benson went down a few minutes ago, with a Denver Broncos tackler landing hard on his left ankle. The Chicago Bears brought the truck out to get him, as he could not put any weight on the injury at all. But, I'm far from sad.

Why? Well, as many of you out there agree, Cedric Benson, and the premature departure of Thomas Jones, are perhaps the biggest two mistakes the Bears made in the offseason. Cedric is far from being able to run a team. Sure, they didn't know at the time, but now they do. He's not a #1 back. Well, he is, if you want to have the worst starting running back in the NFL.

Rofl. Jay Cutler just tackled Ogunleye after he picked up a fumble and AO landed right on poor little head, knocking his helmet a few feet away. That's why he plays offense.

Anyway, Cedric and his inability to break even one tackle 90% of the time has been a sore spot of mine and I'm sure many of the Bears. Adrian Peterson is not THAT Adrian Peterson, but at least he plays with heart. And he can pass block. I know, he's not a first round draft pick, but that's not the other Bears players fault, who want to, I don't know, win a game or two. That fault lands directly on the head of the idiotic Chicago Bears management. Great job. Matt Millen wants you around in Detroit so he can look better by comparison. Hell, he's just glad you fools are in the same division.

Anyway, let's see what the Bears can muster down the remainder of the season without the 1200# Pink Elephant sitting in the middle of the huddle. Best of luck to them.

They're going to need it.

Is it too late to just lose the rest of the games and, hmmm, maybe get a NFL quality quarterback? Just asking.

Screw that, just get out there and hit someone. Let's play some Football (we all know they won't draft a good QB anyway).

Go Bears!!

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Barry Bonds Indicted- Federal Style

Barry Bonds got indicted on federal charges yesterday, what were those charges you may ask? Perjury and Obstruction of justice.

Perjury? Get the fuck outta dodge, Barry Bonds has been publishing other peoples writings and claiming them to be his own?

No, thats plagiarism. And although im sure he has been guilty of that in his life it turns out Perjury is an act of lying or making verifiably false statements on a material matter under oath or affirmation in a court of law.

As for the obstruction of justice, that probably has to do with the fact he was given immunity to tell the truth, and instead chose PERJURY.

Just get ready to be bombarded by non stop news coverage for god knows how long.

Thank god Pedro Gomez has been taking law school classes at the University of Phoenix online, he and Roger Cossack are about to own this thing.

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Ed Wade: 0 for 1

Ed Wade, new GM for the beleaguered Houston Astros, makes his first move of the offseason, and it's not a pretty one. OK, many 'stros fans wanted him out of town, but I'm thinking most of them wanted to get something in return for him. Brad Lidge and Eric Bruntlett for outfielder Michael Bourn, right-hander Geoff Geary and minor league third baseman Mike Costanzo doesn't really scream "Success"!!

To get rid of pitching, good middle relief pitching, for a "I hope he can lead off" guy in Bourn, and a (much) lesser arm in Geary and a roll of the dice in Costanzo, who's a ok AA guy currently hitting a less-than-stellar .172 in the Arizona Winter League. Yikes.

Well, at least they got rid of Lidge, right? Ugh. The Phillies sure thank you Mr. Wade. Great job there. What's next? Roy Oswalt for Kip Wells?

Yee-Haa! Sure is fun playing with other people's money! Seriously, I sure hope, for those Astros fans out there, that Wade's second trade is better than this one. Kinda hard to get worse (umm, that's not a challenge, Ed).

Hey, anytime you want to send Hunter Pence over for Jacque Jones, I'm sure the Ivory Tower is all ears... On second thought, they'd probably blow that opp.

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