Unrestricted View

"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Worst season ever

So let me tell you about a professional(loose term) baseball team that crushes my soul with their ineptitude. You guessed it I am talking about the Houston Astros. The stros record entering today is 39 and 56. They trail everyone in the division excluding the pirates and they are making a strong run at the bucs for last place. Certainly a lot of people saw this coming and to say I was one of them would be true except that I also have a denial problem.

The Astros have scored 135 less runs then they have allowed this year and are near the bottom percentage of just about every meaningful statistic that exists in baseball. Armed with this information it would be safe to assume that this has been a bad year, but it goes farther. This is the "worst year ever'. Let me list just why this year for Astros baseball has hummed on balls the way it has.

1. We started the year with a feliz/blum -manzilla left side of the infield because we have no farm system. Manzilla is a 30 year old rookie

2. Carlos Lee is a fat sack of no hitting shit. Sucking at defense and offense makes you virtually worthless. Funny thing is the Astros owe him close to 40 mil for the net two years sooooooooo........yeah.

3.Our best pitcher requested a trade two weeks into the season and the worst hitting team in the major leagues waited till mid season to fire their hitting coach

4. I actually pay for mlb extra innings for the first time in my life. That means that I am paying extra to watch them lose.

5. I got dressed up in all Astros gear to watch them play the Dodgers here in LA. Expecting to be the only die hard Astro fan in the crowd. I showed up at what must have been the gang entrance to Dodger stadium. The latino gang banger heckling didnt last long before my girlfriend was detained at the entrance for trying to sneak liquor in. Let me be clear: the only people getting kicked out of the Dodgers game that day were the 2 Astros fans and some guy who was bussed there by some kind of LA homeless organization. I watched them lose from my apartment.

6. Brian Moehler going on the DL was a major loss for this team. Say that again to yourself.

7. The Los Angeles lakers won the NBA championship

8. They were no hit by a schitzo while on a nomadic homeless home-stand from a hurricane in Milwaukee. Wait, sorry that wasn't this season.

9. They traded for and now start Angel Sanchez at SS. Who the hell is angel sanchez?

10. Perhaps the most unnerving of all. They are rumored to be sending Roy Oswalt to the St. Louis Cardinals. Two things here: A. we will get owned and B. ITS THE FUCKING ST LOUIS CARDINALS!! Are you kidding me? I hate this team with the passion of a Danielle Steele novel and now we are sending them our best pitcher?

This season has blown goats and I have no choice but to look toward the NFL as a gleaming oasis upon the horizon. I hope that someday the Astros begin to draft and actually pay good players so that they have a farm system. I hope that maybe they hire a gm who studies numbers and doesnt get his ass choked in lunch hall like its prison. I hope that they find there way back to the world series before I die, Im almost thirty and I have reason to be worried on this one.

Seriously though, fuck this season.

Digg it   ♦del.icio.us   ♦Technorati   ♦StumbleUpon   ♦Google   ♦Yahoo   ♦reddit


Post a Comment

<< Home

WWW A Cub Fan Rants Unrestricted View