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"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Or, in other words, I'm watching Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN...

How can anyone, especially an alleged sports network, put these idiots on TV and give them money.

Example: Home run hit off Halladay by the Cubs Geo Soto got "caught up in the wind" and was pushed out "miraculously" (I mean, the flags aren't even moving... not a puff). But, OK, lots of idiots do the same thing in Wrigley. Everything hit is caught up in Jesus, I mean, the WIND. It's like magic man! Cue the idiot sheep-like smile.

Then, according to Joe Handicapable I Don't Believe In Stats Morgan and Orel I Believe In Ghosts Hersheiser, on the very next pitch, a ball gets hit and is foul to the first base side and the wind blew that one too... Directly right. Out beyond the first base dugout. Man, that wind sure is creepy. It just blows shit every which a way. Some one better call the Weather Channel! I think we got us one of them Chicago Hurricanes!

Well Blow ME why don't ya!?

Like the muttonhead analysts on ESPN Baseball. Full of hot air and no substance beyond mythology and Tim McCarver like I-swear-I-almost-sound-like-I-know-something-isms.

I got this novel idea. Physics. It'll help you. So will basic freaking intelligence. Are we asking too much to, I don't know, be smarter than a fifth grader?!?

Obviously, we certainly are.

Isn't some fat fuck dancing their ass off right now? Oh shit, are we missing it?!

Then, Gorzo walks Halladay in the 5th, which sucks, this is true. To lead off the inning even. And what is the infinite wisdom these mentally challenged highly paid "experts" tell us? THAT NEVER HAPPENS!! Wow! GEE THANKS DAD!! I bet Mom isn't really working late either!

Umm, let's not, ya know analyze things. Hey look, that dude's dead! Thanks Brokaw, good job with the news. Now here's Julie with the weather.


This is what lack of competition breeds. Folks tellin' us piss is really light beer. Well, they may be right about that one, but still.

"Just remember how stupid the average person is and remember... Half of 'em are even stupider than that!" - Mr. George Carlin

Go Cubs! (at least .500?)

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