Ichiro Is Into Self-Mutilation

This may be one of my favorite athlete quotes of all-time.

The Mariners were clearly not thrilled with the detour before opening a three-game series against the Chicago Cubs on Tuesday.

“To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to,” Ichiro said through an interpreter. “If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.”

Ichiro went on to add, "And tell that fat fuck Drew Carey that if he even tries to get fresh with me, I'll kung-fu chop his ass right in the jugular."

Keep a look out for the Lil' Bow Wow diss track of Ichiro. Special Guest: Bizzy Bone.

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