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"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Friday, June 08, 2007

Hey, Who Wants To Look At Chicks?

You know what doesn't get enough props around the blogosphere?

College Softball.

Well, I've got you covered. Your 2007 NCAA Softball Champions are the Arizona Wildcats. You may be wondering why the hell I know this, and, furthermore, why the hell I'd choose to blog about it. The answer to the first question is that, since I'm currently unemployed, and since I have what some may view as an alcohol problem, I've spent the past few weeknights hanging out at bars and watching sports. The answer to the second question is that the Lady Wildcats are a striking group of young women. Much more pleasing to the eye than those--dare I say--nappy headed ho's from Tennessee.

Is there anything sexier than an attractive co-ed with a sub-zero WHIP?

Well, actually yes. Yes there is.

That is Allison Stokke. Allison, 18, and headed off to UCLA is known by teenagers and young men around the internet for her exceptional pole vaulting abilities. I shit you not - she holds records and stuff. The problem lies in the fact that many of these teenagers and young men have taken notice of this young athlete for her looks rather than her talents. I mean, really creepy guys like this one.

Tired of all this unwanted attention, her dad even gave an interview to The Washington Post. Go figure.

Well, I'm certainly not going to pile that voyeur filth on this poor girl. If anyone can relate to being treated like a piece of meat while having obvious talents overlooked, it's me. Girls calling me over to their dorm rooms under the guise of studying. Feeling up my biceps at the bar while I try to explain the really interesting implications of String Theory. If it's happened once, it's happened a thousand times.

So for once can you just try to look past the superficial and instead focus on the beauty within. Oh, who am I kidding? You jackals don't care about anything but T & A. Who am I to deny a man of what he wants?

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