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"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Let It Go

I was born in Houston. I lived there for 19 years before moving 90 miles north to College Station. I spent 3 years in Aggieland before transferring colleges. Now, I do my blogging from San Marcos, Tx. Why am I telling you this, you might ask? For one simple reason: All 3 places are overrun with annoying, fairweather Astros fans.

Everyone I hang around with knows I'm a huge baseball fan. They know I watch the Astros game every night on FSN on one TV, whatever game ESPN ot TBS is showing on the other TV, and the Twins live streaming on my laptop.

I seem to always be answering questions like:

Who won the Yankee game tonight?
How did Papi do?
How many games back are the Astros now?
Did Berkman go deep?
How many runs did Oswalt give up?

I had no problem answering these questions April through August, but I will field them no more. Memo to all Astros fans: The answer to the last three questions, among others, is exactly the same.


It hasn't mattered in weeks to be truthful. There will be no late season comeback. There will be no NL flag to defend. There won't even be a first round playoff loss to the Mets. Despite what you think, the last two years were somewhat of an anomoly, not the long-standing second half surge tradition you Astros fans seem to think the team is known for.

That would be the Oakland A's. They've done it like 6 fucking years in a row. You've done it twice. And let's not forget that your late season comebacks typically start around mid-May. Not so late season if you think about now is it?

So when you look at the standings tonight and realize you're 6 games out with only 11 left to play, and have 6 teams in front of you - GIVE THE FUCK UP! Ask a Cubs fan if you can borrow his "Wait Til Next Year" sign. Start following the Texans. Go golfing. See how long you can stand on your erect penis. I don't care what you do. But for the love of God please stop asking me about the Astros game.

That is all.

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