Why The Cubs Won't Win The World Series

The biggest reason? Alfonso Soriano.

Easy as that. Yeah, yeah, I know. Try and talk to me about it. Homeruns, woooo, shiny. No OBP, no team chemistry, no glove, no baseball mind, no baseball heart. OK, he's got a decent arm. Great. And he's plugging up the leadoff spot because he's a spoiled freakin' brat. And, the worst part is, the Cubs deserve it. Because they've let it happen.

The contract they signed him to was stupid. It was stupid then, and it goes all the way up to REALLY F'n STUPID in the coming years. Not only is he a major reason this season will be the best of his tenure on the Northside, the back end of the deal is so large, no one will ever take him off the Cubs hands. EVER. And it will prevent them from signing an outfielder that's, well, better than just above average.

Seriously. If you thought $13 million was a little high (little?!) for nearly the worst OBP of the starters (Edmonds was one one hundredth of a point behind, and he's a platoon player) and #2 on the team behind Soto for K/AB, just wait until next year when he costs $16 million. Hey, at least it only gets a whole lot worse when he gets $18 mil per year for the next four consecutive years after that. Do you think he's worthy of the equal money of Carlos Zambrano? That's what I thought. Oh, and he has that silly-ass hop out there. Fun times.

The baseball world (wrongly) hears about Alex Rodriguez's numbers in the postseason and how they aren't good. Well, would you rather have A-Rod's .279/.373/.483 with 9 doubles and 7 HR's or A-Sore's .213/.263/.299 with more K's (53) than Total Bases (52)?!

OK, how can this be fixed? Get rid of him. Well, that won't happen, so make him bat fifth. No questions, no bitching, no other way. You bat fifth. Period. Can the Cubs ever realize how important Leadoff is?? Ya know, for RBI's for the big bats? Maybe then he wouldn't only have 75 RBI to show for his 29 HR's. But, then again, he looks alright against the Pirates of the world, but once he goes against smart managers that know not to pitch Soriano any strikes, he gets himself out. And, if the guy won't do what's best for the team (which we know he won't), has no plate discipline, and you can't get rid of him, what do you do?

Lose. That, and only score twelve runs in the last six playoff games, all losses. Sweet. Don't forget to get your Commemorative T-Shirt on your way out!

Oh, and great job signing Fukudome and having seven digits of salary sitting on the bench as well. Hey, guess what, next year it nearly doubles!! WooHoo!!

Seriously, if the team played without Soriano or Fukudome, they wouldn't miss them a bit. That's two outfield positions, with a weak CF for every year since, ever?, that are gone baby gone... Please, get rid of one of them. Yeah right. Neither can go. They're tied into their contracts. And therein lies the problem. We Cub Fans are tied into several more years of Losing. Fantastic. Well, at least we won't get this close for a while, so maybe it won't hurt as much...

Congrats on a good season, Cubbies. Hope that's all you wanted. The Central crown again. Cause that's as good as it's going to get.

Yay! Maybe next century will be our century. Go Cubs in 2100!! Bloody Hell.

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