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"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Friday, August 26, 2005

Milk: The New Banned Substance?

An unidentified Florida Marlin batboy, which means he's under eighteen, was suspended by the Florida Marlins for accepting a dare from Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny to attempt to drink a gallon of milk in one hour without throwing up. Are they serious? Evidently, yes.

The Milk industry (namely the Milk Processor Education Program) is taking this opportunity for some pub by paying the batboy $500 (the amount of the original bet) along with any lost wages from the six game suspension he received, as long as he promises to drink the recommended three glasses of milk a day (but not in one sitting).

Also, the Fort Myers Miracle (the Twins' A-ball affiliat in the Florida State League) have offered him an honorary batboy position during their Monday night game vs. the Tampa Yankees. All children under the age of 14 will receive a glass of milk upon entering the stadium, empty milk cartons will be placed in the ballpark for fans to donate to the batboy's cause, and a cow will be at the front gates along with literature promoting the importance of drinking milk (talk about grabbing onto an opportunity).

And Brad Penny thought the Marlins' reaction was outrageous as well.
"It's kind of ridiculous that you get a 10-game suspension for steroids and a six-game suspension for milk," Penny told the Herald.

"It's ridiculous that they worry about stuff like that. It shows they [the Marlins organization] don't know anything about the game. That kind of stuff goes on everywhere. It didn't affect the way he worked, the way he did his job," he said.
Udderly ridiculous, if you ask me.

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