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"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Monday, April 10, 2006

NL Predictions: The Dartboard Approach


I hear Matt wants some NL predictions, eh? Well, I'm not much for predictions, (since I'm most often wrong), but since I'm being prodded for answers, I'll use the "whatever comes to the demented mind of Graham Funk" approach and see what happens. This could get ugly. The picture above may just match my prediction ability. Who am I kidding. I know it does. I picked the frickin' picture out...

Anyway, I'll just get this out of the way first: NL Central Champs = Chicago Cubs. Yeah yeah, the Cardinals are better and the Brewers are young and eager and the Astros have Oswalt and maybe Clemens and are defending NL Champs and the Reds maybe aren't that bad and the Pirates, well, screw the Pirates. So... Cubs Win!! Blah Blah Blah, I can't hear you!!! Wrigley Field!! (New Busch Stadium)...

Alright. NL East. Hmmm. Who knows, but how can't you pick the Braves? How many in a row before I can't pick em? The Mets look alright, but I just really hate the Mets. So there. Marlins? Can they still field a team? Phillies? Hah! Nationals? Now you're really making me laugh. (make sure to come back here and ridicule me when the Phillies or Nats win the division).

NL West. The man known as BB is dead to me, so the Giants are too. Dodgers? Not without Gagne. Diamondbacks? I just don't like them, so I refuse to admit they might. So the Padres it is.

Scientific, aint' I?

I could get all fancy and tell you why, but that'd take all the fun out of it.

Phil wins second Green Jacket. Well, now they can't call him a one-hit wonder. Good for him. Did you see how when Tiger gave him the jacket they refused to make eye-contact? Good TV.

Bulls and the Playoffs. So they're only fighting for the honor of getting their asses kicked by the Pistons. So be it! I love it. Just make sure AI has to watch from home and it's all worth it to me.

No more undefeated MLB teams. Yeah, whoopie. When's the last time a team when 162-0 anyway? It was fun watching the Tigers roll though. For some reason I like Jimmy Leyland. Maybe it's the smoking in the dugout thing.

Alright. It's past my curfew. And the medication is starting to wear off.


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