WS '05- From The Booth

I'm not going to predict what will happen on the field this World Series; it would be pointless. The Cards over the Padres is the only series I've correctly pinned. However, I do have some predictions of the type of things we are going to here from the media. I assume Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will be in the booth and my predictions are based on that assumption.

1. The story of Roger Clemens' mother predicting the score of the Astro game on the day she died and the fact that she twice mentioned Shoeless Joe Jackson will be told at least one time a game.

2. The statistic showing Bagwell and Biggio's total number of games played before their 1st World Series appearance will also be showed at least once a game.

3. McCarver will tell the public that Lidge is about to go with his slider, down and away. Lidge will then throw a fastball up and in. McCarver incorrectly calling pitches will occur so often you will begin to not notice.

4. Ozzie Guillen's managing style will be praised and compared to the old White Sox teams in every bunting situation.

5. McCarver will suggest a bunt anytime a runner is on base with less than two outs.

6. Joe Buck will remind McCarver that it's the 1st inning and Paul Konerko is at the plate.

7. McCarver will point to the pitching matchups and go on the longest "manufacturing runs" diatribe ever aired on Fox.

8. If the White Sox win, Bill Simmons will write a congatulatory article in which his bitterness about the White Sox ending their World Series drought one short year after his beloved Red Sox will shine through his words in such a way that it makes Simmons look more childish than Kanye West.

9. If the Astros win, Bill Simmons will write a 4,238 word essay on how the Astros players refusing to shave throughout the postseason is eerily similar to the masturbation episode of Seinfeld. In this essay he will cleverly call Lance Berkman, who hit the game winning homerun in Game 7, the "King of His Domain". Of course, the similarities will be loosely based and the entire article will give the reader no insight as to why the Astros won or why the White Sox lost, but it will be fairly entertaining and easy to read.

10. Scott Podsednik will be referred to as "scrappy" or as a "gamer" in every one of his at bats.

These are just a few of the things I expect from the play by play guys and the writers. There are sure to be many more "McCarver Gems" like when he said Giambi walks too much and that he's always clogging up the bases with all that walking. Searching for comments like these will be one of the reasons I'll be watching.

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