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"Lou is not talking about mechanics when he goes out to the mound,"
~Chicago Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild

Monday, June 05, 2006

Therapy Via Astro Bashing

Every now and then, typically after a Twins or Braves losing streak, I like to look up the Astros statistics and bash each of their players whom present me the opportunity to do so. Why would I engage in such childish behavior? Because all of my friends are Astros fans, and if I'm going to suffer through a terrible baseball season, then dammit so are they. Is it mean spirited? Sure. I've got no problem admitting to that. But I see no reason for my friends to bask in baseball success while I miserably follow the Twins mistakes and inadequacies. I believe the term is "player hating." But for me looking up Willy Taveras' stats and then giving my roommate a detailed report (powerpoint slide included) of how terrible he is, is the equivalent of somebody with anxiety disorder taking a Xanex. It makes me feel good. And if that's wrong, then I don't want to be right. So let the therapy session begin.

Willy T, who I have cleverly nicknamed "Slugger" just to point out his obvious faults everytime his name is brought up, is currently hitting .262/.313/.311/.624.

The Astros have lost 11 of their last 13 games and are now 4 games under .500 and 9 games behind St Louis.

Preston K Wilson is hitting .263/.298/.390/.688 with 62 strikeouts - ranking him 3rd in the NL in that category.

Phil Garner has been dumb enough to give the two aforementioned players a total of 438 at-bats. Taveras and Wilson, despite those miserable lines, rank number one and two in at-bats.

Adam Everett has been predictably terrible, hitting a measly .209/.267/.308/.575. No glove in the world in good enough to make up for such poor skills with the bat. Between Everett, "Slugger", Preston K Wilson, and the pitcher's spot, the Astros have 4 "black holes" in their lineup. All the while, Phil Garner continues to wonder outloud why the club has trouble scoring runs.

Other than Oswalt, the starting pitchers have ERAs of 4.81, 5.19, 6.03, and 6.25. They have struggled to keep the ball in the strike zone and the ballpark - the two big deathwishes for a pitcher.

Lidge and Wheeler have ERAs of 5.06 and 5.11 respectively. They have combined for 4 blown saves and taken 6 losses. Qualls has blown 2 other saves, while Mike Gallo adds one more to that list.

The team has absolutely no money available to trade for a player that could help fix this mess. This is the team they have and it's the one they'll have to keep. But hey, Roger Clemens is coming back, right?

I feel much better!

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